Day 23/31 Five Minute Free Writes: Common

The very condition of having Friends is that we should want something else besides Friends. Where the truthful answer to the question “Do you see the same truth?” would be “I see nothing and I don’t care about the truth; I only want a Friend,” no Friendship can arise – though Affection of course may. There would be nothing for the Friendship to be about; and Friendship must be about something, even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow-travellers.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

C.S. LEWIS, The Four Loves

Finding and making new friends as a married woman, and now as a mother, has been a long, and sometimes lonely journey.  As a single person, there is no worry about making sure you’re home in time to spend some quality time with your spouse.  When presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go to Thailand for a few weeks, your answer can be “heck yes!” only after considering whether your finances are limiting.  Dinner plans can be made at the last minute and no warning is needed if a friend wants to swing by.  There is so much more to consider.  Now as a wife and mother, I mostly would look for other wives with children, so we have husbands and kids in common.  Are my single friends still there?  Are my friends with no kids still there?  Of course.  It’s just different.

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